Forgiveness, Letting Go and Peace
Day 30 of''#90floatsin90days
This week has been full of highs and lows. I struggled with the changing dynamics of some personal relationships, with resentment, anger, and fear. I stayed "present" for a majority of the open house and remain deeply moved by the outstanding people in my life that love and support me. I do not have to be "good enough" for it or earn it in any way. I can simply be who I am and be loved. This is a beautiful thing and nothing I take for granted.
I have also become increasingly aware of my need to clean up my self-talk and to forgive myself and others. I realized yesterday that 6 months after leaving my corporate job, I dropped the #Allegis20! In other words, not only am I striving to clean up my verbal diet, but I have honored my dietary requirements and #letgo of 20 pounds I did not need.
Today, I focused my yoga practice in the #InfraredSauna and my float meditation on #forgiveness. I found this simple yet very effective YouTube video on forgiveness by Jack Kornfield - https://youtu.be/PbHKCy4f6Dk. He broke #forgiveness into three parts – Asking forgiveness of others for the harm I have caused, asking myself for forgiveness, and then giving forgiveness to others who have harmed me. As I sat through the first part of the meditation, calling to mind how I have caused harm, I was overcome by grief, remorse, and oddly, hope. I approached my #30thfloat with this awareness and the intent of exploring forgiveness of myself and others.
Leaving the float, I realized that my peace had been restored. My sense of hope renewed. Hope that today I can be a better person than I was yesterday. Hope that I can easily remember that others' others' behaviors have more to do with who they are and that my reaction has everything to do with who I am. Hope that I can be a touch kinder to myself and let go of my ridiculous perfectionist standards.
When I started #floating, I knew that it would be incredibly beneficial for me physically, there is a large body of evidence stating so. The surprise came from the profound mental benefits I have experienced. Numerous studies suggest that flotation therapy is helpful for conditions such as PTSD, anxiety, and sleep disorders. As well as useful in creating calm, focus, and clarity.
I am a work in progress, I still fall short of my own expectations, but I am more in touch with my #humanness that I have ever been. I am at peace in my body and mind and have begun to heal the broken parts of me at a much deeper level. This is more than I expected.